It's a drizzly, cold, Sunday afternoon and my heart is heavy. I'm sad, frustrated, angry, and a million other adjectives I don't want to take the time to type. Being a christian isn't hard. Being a christian who wants to impact the Kingdom, is though. It's one of the toughest things I've ever undergone.
The Lord doesn't promise us it will be easy. He promises us we will be blessed if we endure.
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the victor's crown, the life God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12
It's not the non-believers who frustrate me. That's like getting angry with a democrat for not being a Republican. They simply don't know any better :) (I couldn't resist the political metaphor).
The believers are the one's who test my patience, try my soul, and push me to the edge of a veritable insanity. Why? In a nutshell, lack of commitment. Commitment to God and His Body of believers anyway. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I was taught that your word was a sign of your integrity. If you said you were going to do something, you did it. Yet I'm perpetually surrounded by people who apparently did not grow up with this same teaching. Sure they tell me with their mouths that they'll be responsible and dedicated, yet their actions say differently.
The natural man in me wants to grab them around the throat and scream, "You made a commitment. WHY is it so difficult for you to follow through? If you didn't honestly want to take on the job, why did you tell me you would?" But the Still Small Voice encourages me to simply reply, "It's all right if you can't be there. We will be glad to have you on the days you are available."
And then I walk away, and I'm bitter, and I lash out......or write a blog post :)
So to my believing friends and family who read my blog (all 3 of you), please be in prayer for me. I feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle and I know it's a spiritual battle. The harder I try to guide my children in the Lord, homeschool because of Godly convictions, and serve in leadership capacities within the church, the more I feel beat down by the devil. I know I should take heart though.......
.....we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 2 Corinthians 4:7-10
5 comments:
So true unfortunately. I was brought up to ALWAYS follow through on my commitments, but I am pretty sure we are the minority:/ Even this past week I wanted to bail out of our homeschool co-ops trip to the pumpkin patch, but my conscience wouldn't let me! You're NOT alone:)
Great post, I feel the same way as you. So does Daniel which means he has felt awful about the weeks he had to work, but he's training people so that should not happen again, I don't want him to be "that" person lol.
I get ya! I hate that we can't get people to realize that they are "working unto the Lord" so really, they are standing Him up! I'm *not* okay with that, personally. Let your "yes" be "yes", and your "no" be "no". Anything else is from the evil one. Isn't the Word always perfect?;)
I wanted to run away this week. I teach a group of 40 four year olds. Each of them with varying degrees of English. Church did not give me the lesson until Friday night. One helper was already asking to be excused and the other two were late. My helpers are very kind hearted but do not always understand English either. I got to church 45 minutes early to set up and pray and realized there was one pineapple bun for a class of 40 to "share." Also, we have one gluten free child and I could not remember who it was. Then I could not figure out where the CD with the story was. Thank you Lord that I was prepared with alternate activities--yikes! The kids listened in absolute quiet while I told the story, then they raised their hands and asked pertinent questions!!!! Wow! I have been praying hard for this group. Afterwards centers were a mess but they heard God's Word! I am praying for your ministry. I pray The Lord works through you and speaks to the hearts of those ministered to. It does not look like we want it to often and it is frustrating. Seeds are being planted and God is working in hearts.
I am glad to see you realize the importance of attending the House of the Lord:but, that will not do anyone any good by itself alone. The word proclaims you must be born again of water and of the Spirit! When was the Church set up? What were the instructions given on that day by Apostle Peter? REPENT AND BE BAPTIZED EVERYONE OF YOU, IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST AND YE SHALL RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE HOLY GHOST! Acts 2:37, 38 Did you know that nowhere in the Bible was anyone ever baptized in the titles, Father,Son, and Holy Ghost? Search these things out and see if they be so. Thank you.
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