Out of the Mouths of Babes!

This afternoon the girls and I were out running some errands when they noticed all the political signs lining the yards as we drove past. I figured it was a great opportunity to educate them a little about the upcoming election. I began by explaining the reason behind the signs, who the names were on them, and when the election would be held. I then proceeded to tell them about Republicans and Democrats. As soon as I mentioned the name 'Democrats', in unison the girls began giggling and said, "Democrats! That's a stupid name." Girls, I couldn't agree with you more!

Paperless Dream

I hate paperwork. Oops, hate is a bad word, I strongly dislike paperwork. No, I hate it! I am one of those people who abhors dealing with paperwork. I can remember watching Star Trek and dreaming of the day when our lives were completely paperless like they were on The Enterprise! So far it hasn't happened, but I have done my fair share to move the process along. I pay as many bills as possible online and anytime I have an opportunity to opt out of paper statements I do. In fact, just today I signed up for e-statement through my credit union. It will be heavenly.....no more gazillion page bank statements going unread (because I bank online) and sitting in a basket on my counter until I find time to stuff them into the file cabinet. I've also saved a website that should get me to the correct place to opt out of receiving unwanted phone books, credit card offers and a whole host of other junk mail that I'd just as soon not receive. I wish I could be a true northwesterner and say I'm doing it in an effort to 'go green'. But in reality, I don't care so much about that, I just don't want to have to deal with it. I'm sick of opening, filing, shredding and the like. If the mail doesn't exist then I don't have to worry about it. Just thinking about how many forests will be saved by not wasting so much paper makes me positively giddy. In fact, I think I can see myself turning green right now. Yeah right!

Just for fun...

I've added a poll to my blog - it may move around on the page, but I'll try to keep it near the top/sides so it can be viewed quickly - Thanks Robyn for the suggestion! I can change the question and answers whenever I like, so some may be serious while others might be corny (like candy corny). I love polls and participate in them as often as I can. So the next time you're watching the news and they have a segment on how many Americans actually eat candy corns? Chances are, I participated in that poll to bring the numbers up :)

Foot in Mouth!

It's a well known human foible, to open the mouth and insert the foot. It can happen faster than lightning can strike, at the most inopportune times, and even if it's been censored by forethought, much forethought. Fortunately it doesn't happen to me very often, but when it does, it's usually a doozy! Like the time I was at church camp in the 7th grade and I saw one of the older girls without make-up on and I said to her, "wow, you really NEED make-up." What I meant was that she looked beautiful with make-up on. Of course what came out was that she looked terrible without it! There are also those times when I carefully contemplate my next phrase. I think on it heavily, debate with myself, and over analyze my upcoming comment, only to open my mouth and have words begin flying out like a parabolic trajectory. Now I've done it! And once it's done it cannot be undone! Of course I can't un-say something I've already said! It's like the Running of the Bulls at Pamplona, or the space shuttle launch, or a moving train. It happened so fast it can't be stopped. So I try to back paddle...."what I MEANT was.....", or "it didn't come out quite like I intended." Either way, I'm figuratively sitting there with my head tilted back, jaw opened like a flip-top cap, and a size 7 Havaiana shoved halfway down my throat. It's really a beautiful picture! I wish it didn't happen, but it does. I'm only human, and if you're one of the hapless victims who has been, or will be, around me when I've experienced a bout of 'foot in mouth' disease, or 'word salad' as I've heard it expressed, don't worry, it's not contagious, and I just hope you'll have it in your heart to forgive me.

My Funny Little Petunia

Tonight the girls were getting ready for bed, and they had just finished brushing their teeth when I looked in the sink and saw several large toothpaste blobs. Here's what ensued next: -------- Me: "One of you needs to clean the toothpaste blobs out of the sink." Autumn: "OK Mom." (She then picks up the toothbrush and proceeds to clean the sink with the toothbrush when Cayla walks in) Cayla: "Eewwww, Autumn that's gross. You're cleaning the sink with your toothbrush?!" Autumn: "No I'm not, it's YOUR toothbrush." -------- I literally laughed out loud. Autumn is hilarious and always has us cracking up about something. It was just what I needed and was the perfect ending to my Monday!

Sunday's News

On Sunday afternoon everyone within the sound of my voice knew that I was stuck between distraught and disgust over the recent news about Contemporary Christian Artist Ray Boltz coming out of the closet. I wasn't distraught or disgusted that he was homosexual as much as I was distraught and disgusted that he gave the secular world another reason to think Christianity is stupid and foolish. I'm really heartbroken because this news tarnished his testimony. His music was so captivating and his songs always told a story. I imagine his lyrics touched thousands of people too, but as my sister said, "that just shows the grace of God, that even in the midst of Ray's personal turmoil, He used his music to touch lives." ----------------------- In other news, after visiting my in-laws so Cory could troubleshoot their computer, we heard this obnoxious hissing sound as we stepped out of the car. At first I thought a neighbor might be using a pneumatic tool, but as it turns out, air was rapidly pouring from a slash in my tire where we had apparently run over a box knife blade. Oh goody! Now I get to spend a fun filled Monday sitting at Les Schwab awaiting the dreaded, 'sorry ma'am, we checked it out and your tire is beyond repair. We're gonna have to sell you a new one, but it's against our policy to sell one tire, so we're gonna need you to purchase all four.' Aaarrrrgggghhh!!! There's a silver lining in this cloud though......1) Chances are good we can get away with buying two tires because the other two are in good shape, 2) at least we were at home when it happened so Cory had access to his good tools instead of using the cheesy tire iron and jack the car comes with, and 3) fortunately it happened Sunday night instead of Monday because Cory's leaving Monday at 6am for a week long job out of town. I'm glad tomorrow's a new day. I know things are going to look sunny, even if it is still raining :)

Cold Season

Warning! Explicit content! Due to the graphic nature of this post, personal discretion is advised. Disclaimer: If you are currently engaged in meal consumption it is strongly advised that you completely finish before reading. I have a cold! It's not just any cold either. It's the Queen Mother of all colds. The head honcho! The Big Kahuna! It laughs in the face of other colds. If this cold were a truck it would have a Hemi in it! This disgusting crud has settled into my nose, head, chest, throat and pretty much everywhere except my feet, but who really knows?! My head is spinning and I'm having to hang onto counters and door knobs to prevent falling over. I keep having visions of those little phlegm blobs from the Mucinex commercials. You know the ones....those little cartoon phlegm-dudes that move their entire extended family into a person's chest and setup housekeeping. Currently one side of my nose is clear and open and I can breathe. The other side though, is so stopped up I can't even tell it's running until I feel something slimy trickle down my nostril onto my upper lip. Disgusting! So far my day has been amazingly similar to an infant. I woke up this morning, ate breakfast, then settled onto the couch to take a nap, although it was under the guise of watching a movie. I woke up from napping, ate lunch, contemplated another nap, but decided to blog instead because at least that somehow feels productive. I feel terrible. I can't even take care of my girls. They asked me to make them lunch and my response went something like this, "whatever you can make for yourselves, have at it. I'm not cooking." They probably ate Ding Dong's and chocolate milk, but I can't be sure and I hesitate to ask! I need a maid, and some NyQuil, and then I'm off to take a nap!