Foot in Mouth!

It's a well known human foible, to open the mouth and insert the foot. It can happen faster than lightning can strike, at the most inopportune times, and even if it's been censored by forethought, much forethought. Fortunately it doesn't happen to me very often, but when it does, it's usually a doozy! Like the time I was at church camp in the 7th grade and I saw one of the older girls without make-up on and I said to her, "wow, you really NEED make-up." What I meant was that she looked beautiful with make-up on. Of course what came out was that she looked terrible without it! There are also those times when I carefully contemplate my next phrase. I think on it heavily, debate with myself, and over analyze my upcoming comment, only to open my mouth and have words begin flying out like a parabolic trajectory. Now I've done it! And once it's done it cannot be undone! Of course I can't un-say something I've already said! It's like the Running of the Bulls at Pamplona, or the space shuttle launch, or a moving train. It happened so fast it can't be stopped. So I try to back paddle...."what I MEANT was.....", or "it didn't come out quite like I intended." Either way, I'm figuratively sitting there with my head tilted back, jaw opened like a flip-top cap, and a size 7 Havaiana shoved halfway down my throat. It's really a beautiful picture! I wish it didn't happen, but it does. I'm only human, and if you're one of the hapless victims who has been, or will be, around me when I've experienced a bout of 'foot in mouth' disease, or 'word salad' as I've heard it expressed, don't worry, it's not contagious, and I just hope you'll have it in your heart to forgive me.